Ranking the Bob's Burgers Halloween Episodes

Bob’s Burgers is one sitcom that pretty regularly has Halloween episodes. Not every season has one, but more often than not. Overall they are decent episodes, though I would not say that all of them really hit for me. I decided to give them all (as of writing this since I don’t know if this season will have one) a re-watch and then rank them. As always these are my personal rankings, if you disagree that is fine. Starting with the lowest-

Apple Gore-chard! (But Not Gory)

Louise and Bob go on a school field trip to an apple orchard. Louise becomes convinced there is something scary happening on the farm while also competing with Jessica for Hero of the Harvest, which is basically a popularity contest. Louise ultimately admits that she does like being liked, after bad mouthing the concept of popularity all day. And then gets into shenanigans when she thinks she is going to be sacrificed. Meanwhile, Tina and Gene’s part of their group costume keeps falling apart. The episode is fine but like… just fine.

Heartbreak Hotel-oween

Two Halloweens ago Louise went trick or treating and was left out of getting candy at one house. They promised to double her candy the next year but naturally forgot in that time. Now this Halloween Louise is determined to get revenge on them. Along the way the kids stop at a hotel and realize that every year a woman does a séance because her lover cheated on her then died. Tina investigates and finds out the lover didn’t cheat, and Tina uses it to convince Louise to let things go. Not a terrible episode, just not all that amusing.

The Pumpkinening

A Gayle episode! Although sadly probably not my favorite. Anyway, Linda and Gayle accidentally destroyed all the pumpkins for a pumpkin carving contest they did in high school. Flash forward and they get scary messages about someone knowing. Gayle and Linda go on an adventure to find out who is sending the messages, and it turns out it was Gayle’s life coach, because of course. Also Linda admits to intentionally destroying her pumpkin so that Gayle wouldn’t know she lost. It’s decent enough though not as funny as I’d like, especially for having such a top tier reoccurring character.

Pig Trouble in Little Tina

I gave this episode another go specifically for this piece, but it still let me down... Tina wants to be invited on a haunted hay ride and in order to do so makes fun of her fetal pig in class. This makes Tina feel guilty and as such starts having nightmares about the pig. I appreciate all Tina is going through but the nightmare sequences do little for me, and the episode feels a bit lacking in comparison. Add to that a B plot line that is more gross than amusing and I am not all that into it. This episode is actually more disappointing than anything though because as a horror fan “Nightmare on Elm Street but make it Bob’s Burgers” really should have grabbed me more.

Fort Night

Louise and the kids have an elaborate fort behind the restaurant and before trick or treating they decide to show it off to newer friend, Darryl. The kids accidentally get themselves locked in and only Millie, who is obsessed with Louise, knows this has happened. Louise can’t help herself and goes off on Millie, leading Millie to decide to leave them trapped. I understand that Millie is intentionally annoying, I get that’s the joke. I just can’t deal with it. It’s not amusing to me, it’s just annoying. Meanwhile Bob and Linda finish up the kids’ costume and in their absence decide to go trick or treating themselves, which is the funniest part of the entire episode. There’s some good things happening here, but Millie is too much.

Teen-a Witch

After Tammy steals her idea for a costume Tina starts to experiment with witchcraft. Eventually she gets in too deep and starts to fear the repercussions only to realize that it’s pretty unlikely that she was really pulling anything off anyway. This episode is actually pretty amusing. But I mostly just get super annoyed that the crossing guard has it out for Tina for really no justified reason, but we are still supposed to see Tina’s behavior as bad. Honestly, it just irks me. The other story is that Bob’s pumpkins keep getting stolen and it turns out it’s Mr. Fischoeder, which checks out completely. An okay episode but could be higher if it didn’t bug me so much.

Tina and the Real Ghost

Tina once again feels left out with her peers and is struggling to find her place. At the restaurant there are claims it is haunted and the family gets the ghost, who is a teen boy, into a box. Tina then creates an entire made up relationship with him, only for Tammy to do the same. The episode is so-so on the ghosts and overall plot. However, it is nice when Tina finally stands up for herself. I do enjoy moments when Tina gets to shine. Also Tammy takes a verbally beating from the group which I always appreciate.

For Whom the Doll Toes

You’d honestly be forgiven for not realizing this is a Halloween episode. In fact they only state it a few times, and other than that there is nothing really Halloweeny happening here. As such maybe it shouldn’t be so high on the list, but it is a good episode and it’s my list so… Anyway, Gene is left out of a gathering with his friends and dealing with disappointment and confusion. Louise actually knows what happened but is unable to simply tell Gene. Her attempts to tell him without saying it frustrate him, but we ultimately learn that Gene was a good guy and Louise felt she failed him. It’s nice to see development from both of them. Also Louise is reminded that she has other people in her corner to help her out in these situations. Good Halloween episode? No. But it is one of my favorite episodes of the newer seasons so I just felt I couldn’t put it any lower.

The Wolf of Wharf Street

It is Halloween, and there may or may not be a wolf on the loose. Linda decides to go trick or treating with the kids to keep them safe, but their reaction makes her switch to “prove she is fun” mode. Most people aren’t handing out candy because they believed kids would be kept home so she decides they will track down the wolf. Bob is injured and Teddy agrees to keep an eye on him. After Bob takes one too many pain pills he becomes convinced Teddy is a werewolf. Solid episode and the Teddy Bob thing is just too funny.

Full Bars

The kids convince their parents to let them go trick or treating on their own. After many disappointments they decide to take the ferry to King’s Head Island, where all the wealthy people live. After getting lots of candy the kids still want more and end up getting caught in the middle of older kids bullying younger ones for the holiday. Meanwhile Bob and Linda attend Teddy’s Halloween party and accidentally kill Teddy’s guinea pig. Both plotlines are pretty hilarious and the episode is a treat.

The Hauntening

Louise laments that she cannot be scared and wishes that just once it would happen for her. Bob and Linda go on a mission to do just that. They start by doing a terrible haunted house and then transition right into the real scares without Louise, or the audience, being aware it’s all a set up. I mean the audience can probably figure it out, but it is well done and clever. This is a funny and creative episode and earned it’s number two spot.

Nightmare on Ocean Avenue Street

I mean first of all, top tier costumes. Andre the Giant 3000? Nun of your business? And dragon with a girl tattoo? They absolutely knocked it out of the park with these ones. Anyway the kids are trick or treating on Ocean Avenue where the restaurant is located. They meet up with various friends, but over the course of the night someone keeps stealing all their candy. The kids go on a mission to track the candy thief down, which includes going into a haunted house and some good laughs. Meanwhile Teddy is decorating Bob’s restaurant to compete with the handyman who did the decorations next door. The kids plotline is fine, it’s Bob and Teddy’s escalation with the decorating (that continues well into the night) that really gets me though. The chainsaws on a giant spider to make it scary is *chefs kiss*